I have always loved to write. Ever since I can remember my favorite class was English. Words seemed to hold such power. They could whisk you away to a far off place, set you off on a grand adventure, fill you with pride, make you smile, or make you cry. Kids on the playground would chant, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” To be completely honest I totally used that taunt as well but I knew even then that it was a cover. If the saying were to be true it would state, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words leave lasting wounds on the heart.”
In my middle school years I discovered poetry and was quickly hooked. My heart poured itself onto the pages and I found immense comfort in reading those words over and over again. My most treasured possession became the notebooks I carried around. Always available for me to quickly jot down the newest awesome quote I had found, or the newest poem to flow from my ever restless heart.
As I got older and entered the teen years writing became my only way to express all the feelings and emotions cascading through my soul. Due to the fact that words meant so much to me high school was an incredibly difficult time. Kids can be downright cruel with their words and their jokes constantly tormented me, although I would never give them the satisfaction of knowing they bothered me. Boyfriends also have a canny way with words and I was constantly on a roller coaster of emotions while falling in and out of love. My poems were literally my lifeline during those awful years.
Fast forward a few more years and I ended up coming across Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages”. I barely scored anything in my bottom three categories. My top two categories were equally tied between physical touch and (no surprise) words of affirmation. Can you see the recipe for disaster here in my teen years???? Thank goodness, my Father in Heaven was watching out for me.
Anyways, after almost 14 years of marriage, three kids, and three dogs later I still find solace in writing whenever I find the quiet and solitude to accomplish the task. I started wondering if I should write a blog. Mostly as my own personal therapy sessions so I can express what is going on in my heart but also so that maybe I can help someone else. I have learned tons from reading books, other blogs, and any inspirational Facebook post I can find. I know how wonderful it can be to read something that really speaks to you and I have always wanted to help others. I love to inspire, encourage, and build others up. I always dreamed of being a counselor someday, but alas it is not in the cards for me right now. So instead, I decided to blog.
I started my blog three days ago. And have yet to try and get any followers. Because as often happens I started to have doubts . . .
-Do people really care about what I have to say?
-What if I completely fail at this?
-Do I really want to put myself out there, be vulnerable, and then deal with the criticisms that people are so quick to offer?
And I didn’t have the answers to those questions. So I just let my blog sit there. And then I started to think about what I would say to my kids if it was them starting something new and taking a risk. I would tell them . . .
-Someone out there needs to hear your story. We all make mistakes and it helps us all to know that we are not the only ones going through this stuff.
-From the awesome Disney movie, “Meet the Robinsons” . . . “From failure you learn, success not so much.” You really only fail if you refuse to learn anything from it and give up.
-Yes, people may criticize me and the words will hurt. But I may help someone in the process. And if I only help one soul by writing then it will all be worth it.
So I am starting this new adventure of blogging and seeing where it will lead me. If anything, I hope that I will learn a lot on the way. As our pastor stated a few weeks ago, “At the END of the most DIFFICULT trails, we find the greatest REWARDS.”
The Greatest Accomplishment-Cici
I want to run when I really should crawl
I want to confront the darkness head on
I want to laugh in the face of danger
I want to right all that I’ve ever made wrong
I want to open my eyes and see the world
Through the eyes of a child
To see the wonder of all that surrounds me
To see what I’ve forgotten about after such a long while
I want to fly above the clouds
I want to fall into the sea
I want to know that when this life is over
I have been the best person I could possibly be
And I want to make a difference
In at least one life, no matter how small
To know that because of me someone can breathe a little easier
Why that would be the greatest accomplishment of all*